Q and A with FLDS mothers

How in the world do you make sure each child gets quality one-on-one time in such a large family group?

From lover of the truth:
The simple answer to that question is: We don't live for ourselves! We live for others, for our children and for our sister wives, Husbands live to bless the work, Wives live to bless the husbands, sister wives and children, they are much to engaged to worry about who's sleeping with who. Who's servicing who, who's got what, and who is loved the most. A true husband loves everyone, and it's never been a truer saying than with each endeavor to love, the capacity to love grows larger. The more children in the home, the more love in us. We are here to make heaven on earth, the only competition being who can do the most for another. So, we don't live for ourselves. I know what your saying, "how is that possible?", well, it takes work, and it takes dedication, it takes overcoming the inherent faults within us. When it becomes first tendency to live and love that way, it is beautiful. I hope that answered that question, the children get much more one on one time than they would in a single relationship, they have many mothers, and they can go to any one of them and know that that Mother loves them, and will do all she can to bless them.

Do you celebrate Mothers day?

From lover of the truth again:
To answer the question, No, We don't celebrate any certain day as Mother's day, again Mothers are very special every day, and most that you talk to would tell you that they feel that way. It's tradition to make one day for Thanksgiving-Father's Day-Mothers Day. Every day we should be thankful, every day we should thanks God for our husbands, wives, mothers, and fathers. That's how we feel, that's how we live.

Did any of the young women ever desire to have careers or lives outside the compound? Was it discouraged or flat out denied?

From lover of the truth:
Did you hear about Lorie Jessop, she is an EMT-I!! I don't know if you saw it, but yes, if the ladies would like to do something and have their hearts set upon it, then they are allowed free choice. There is not, and I repeat not any force in our religion!! If there is somebody who was, then I'm sorry they or the person who forced them PLAIN AND SIMPLY was pretending to live our religion and wasn't truly. There are many nurses, FNP, Midwives, School Teachers, Book Keepers, EMT's, and on and on and on in our communities, that are women. If a woman wants out, then she can leave, as parents, when they are still minors, we have to be responsible for them, but even then I have never seen any of the people I know force them to stay. Rather, I've seen parents fast, pray, and go out at all hours of the night to retrieve them, and offer them a loving home to come to. I've seen the girls leave, I've seen some come back, I've seen some gone for good. There is no force in our religion!!

Isn't the prophet supposed to choose for you?”

Anon FLDS mother:
When I was married.. I was asked by the Prophet "how do you feel about marrying so'n'so? I replied " I feel fine about that" I knew who he was although I didn't "know him".I think this is what is meant by most of our women when they say they "chose" their Husbands. Although there are some couples that "chose each other" in many cases they were sent away to repent and later married by the Prophet.I have a wonderful life.. I am still the only wife..but I am praying that we can be blessed with another lady in the family. My Husband told me that it is ok for the wife to pray for a sister wife..but as for the Husband it is no concern of his until he is invited to live it.

[Insert by pligchild: "choosing each other" is dating without permission. I know a few that felt impressed who they should marry, and married that man]

I would like to know if FLDS folks get social security cards. I would like to know if they have birth certificates. I would like to know if the children from spiritual marriages are on welfare and if the women are registered with the welfare system as a single mother.I would like to know if they file tax returns and if they do are they claiming to be single mothers. I would like to know if these women will get the stimulus package from the government for all of their children and do they have to hand over this money to their spiritual husbands. Thank you.

From anon FLDS mother:
Everyone has Birth Cirt's. and S.S. cards...and as far as the welfare goes I can only answer for what I know.The only plural family that I personally am aware of..when they did apply for F.S. & Medical it was. Husband, Wife #1,Wife #2,Wife #3.etc..they applied as a family.I looked at their form as I was asked to vouch for knowing them. Three of the ladies in that family were related to me.As for my own family..(only wife) yes we were on F.S. & Medical for about 1 1/2 years as we fell on hard times. My Husband lost his job..I was a stay at home Mother and our two older sons supported the family until we got back on our feet. We got off welfare as soon as we could as my Husband referred to it as the "government tit" and hated the idea of asking them for help.

Carol (non FLDS fundamentalist)
Yes, we do get social security cards. Yes, we do get birth certificates. Some children are on welfare, some aren't depending on the beliefs of the parents. Yes, even in this group different families believe differently on things like that. Yes, we do file tax returns and what else can we claim, if the government doesn't recognize the plural marriage? Yes, we will receive the stimulus package, but not likely for all the children. Maybe one or two. And if the plural wife chooses she can keep the money. This is just one perspective, there are definitely many more.

Any woman who leaves the FLDS and exposes the trauma they experienced are exaggerating and lying because they are blinded by bitterness and jealously. ?

Carol:
I was talking from my perspective, and I was Honest to my knowledge. I know there are some men that really are that horrible to their families. But it is not the norm. And I said some of it could have happened. But I will say yes, I do believe they are hateful, jealous and exaggerating. I will make no compromise on that because I know from experience how a person(s) can seem from the hateful, jealous side. And when you are enclosed in that little world, you tend to blow things WAY out of proportion. I am not denying things like this have happened. They have, but it tends to be the ones that are NOT living their religion. Is my answer any better??

[From Pligchild: "there are some men that really are that horrible to their families" the FLDS send them out when discovered]

Please explain to me why handicapped or severely ill children are seen as (for lack of a better word)products of their mothers' disobedience to the prophet and God? Isn't every child perfect and loved by God equally?

Anon FLDS mother:
That is not true. We were told by Uncle Rulon (our Dear Prophet) that the children that are born with handicaps are the MOST PRECIOUS spirits of our Father in Heaven..and that he sent them to the earth that way so that they could NOT be let astray and that when they returned unto him they would be Pure and Innocent. He also went on to say that the spirits in heaven have a choice as to whether accept a body that is handicapped or refuse it.

Why would Carolyn say that her husband and sister wives told her that she had a handicapped son because she was disobedient?

Anon FLDS:
..I know for a fact that Merrill's oldest son has a disables daughter (from wife #2) and they have a picture plaque in their front entryway that states how blessed they feel as a family to be chosen by God to have such a precious spirit come into their lives..that the Lord trusted them enough to give them this special child that would need lots of care. I can see where a jealous wife could say hurtful things to another wife..but it is hard for me to swallow that Merrill would say such things as he knows and understands the same teachings that I do.

The Prophet Joseph Smiths said: Do NOT wish evil on those that persecute us or do harm to us..for when you see what they go through as a punishment for their wrongs against his anointed..We will mourn and pray for them. Because it will be so terrible...Our Dear Prophet Uncle John Y. Barlow said:That the Lord showed him the destruction's and what would become of the wicked...and it was so terrible that he plead with the Lord to close the vision..because he could not stand to see any more.So.. I can only speak for myself, but..I am praying that the people that are persecuting our people would "WAKE UP and REPENT" of their wrongs before it is to late.I do not wish harm on "CPS" or the "OFFICIALS" that are heading this campaign against us.. but I DO PRAY that the LORDS WILL, will be done on earth as it is in HEAVEN. When he says ENOUGH..then he will bring an end to the wrongs that are brought against his people.