My letter to the Judge

Judge Barbra Walther
112 W Beauregard Ave
San Angelo, TX 76903

Dear Judge Barbara Walther,

Hello your honor, I write with deep feelings, asking that you not disregard what I write to you. I seek our Father in heaven to guide my writing and touch your heart as you read these words. May God inspire your heart with peace, and grant you the ability to see the truth in this matter. O how I know you need it! My heart aches for little children and angel mothers whose dominion you have been given in this incredible responsibility unlike any you have been given before. My heart also bleeds for those who once were brothers or sisters in the FLDS who left, and now seek to destroy it because others did not choose to leave with them. May God bless them with the curse of honesty.

Dear honorable judge, I do not write to complain, but to follow the example of those heartsick mothers. I seek not retribution, but only justice. And I write to tell you my story.

I am a disfellowshipped former Elder from the FLDS church who left behind a sweet wife and two precious children. I was disfellowshipped from the church not because I stopped believing in the principles or the leadership of the church, but because I was mistreating my wife. She could have come with me, but decided not to. It was best for both of us.

I want you to know, your honor, that the standards of behavior for men are much higher in that church than anywhere else in any other church or society since early Christian church under Peter, James, and John. Mistreatment of women or children is not tolerated there.

In the FLDS if a man is unkind to his wife or children he is not worthy of being their father and is in danger of losing them. If a man forces himself on his wife or physically harms his wife, he not only should and does lose them, he is often turned over to law enforcement. These are only the tip of the iceberg of the requirements of the men in the FLDS church. It is true that in the past FLDS men have been found to be guilty of these offenses, but when they are discovered they are disfellowshipped, and they lose the priesthood and right to be FLDS husbands. The ladies of the FLDS church are the most protected, revered, and honored among their own women in America, and I know this by listening to my grandmothers, my mothers, my sisters, and my wife. The women know the requirements of the men, and have many who they can go to in any mistreatment case.
As for me, I did not hit my wife, or force myself upon her, or even yell at her. I insulted her, and my mothers, and my daughter, by engaging in a habit of viewing things I should not have. The ideals that the FLDS seek after are the standards of heaven, and in heaven this is the standard:

Doctrine and Covenants 121
"36 The rights of the priesthood are inseparably connected with the powers of heaven, and that the powers of heaven cannot be controlled nor handled only upon the principles of righteousness.
37 That they may be conferred upon us, it is true; but when we undertake to cover our sins, or to gratify our pride, our vain ambition, or to exercise control or dominion or compulsion upon the souls of the children of men, in any degree of unrighteousness, behold, the heavens withdraw themselves; the Spirit of the Lord is grieved; and when it is withdrawn, Amen to the priesthood or the authority of that man.
38 Behold, ere he is aware, he is left unto himself, to kick against the pricks, to persecute the saints, and to fight against God.
39 We have learned by sad experience that it is the nature and disposition of almost all men, as soon as they get a little authority, as they suppose, they will immediately begin to exercise unrighteous dominion.
40 Hence many are called, but few are chosen.
41 No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood, only by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned;
42 By kindness, and pure knowledge, which shall greatly enlarge the soul without hypocrisy, and without guile—
43 Reproving betimes with sharpness, when moved upon by the Holy Ghost; and then showing forth afterwards an increase of love toward him whom thou hast reproved, lest he esteem thee to be his enemy;
44 That he may know that thy faithfulness is stronger than the cords of death.
45 Let thy bowels also be full of charity towards all men, and to the household of faith, and let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly; then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God; and the doctrine of the priesthood shall distil upon thy soul as the dews from heaven.
46 The Holy Ghost shall be thy constant companion, and thy scepter an unchanging scepter of righteousness and truth; and thy dominion shall be an everlasting dominion, and without compulsory means it shall flow unto thee forever and ever.”

I have a daughter who is 4 years old who is in the church, and there is only one place on earth that I would rather her be than right here in my arms, and that is with her mother and in the church that I love. I have caused enough pain in her life, please do not kidnap her from her mother!

Please forgive me if I have seemed disrespectful in any way to the calling that the great state of Texas and God has given to you. May He be with you in your great responsibility.

Sincerely yours,
A. Holm
PO Box 1996
Glendale, AZ 85311